Confidence do you have it or not?

So I have been talking to my friends  about why some people lack the confidence or the drive to do things in their life. Example I know this solider who has about 13 or 14 years in the military. They have done absolutely nothing with their life, haven't taken advantage of all the opportunities that is there in the Army. This person will say I don't want to be a butt kisser or sucking up to people, well I don't view networking, doing hard work and going above and beyond on things sucking up. I see it as succeeding and networking.

Self-confidence does not necessarily imply 'self-belief' or a belief in one's ability to succeed. For instance, one may be inept at a particular sport or activity, but remain 'confident' in one's demeanor, simply because one does not place a great deal of emphasis on the outcome of the activity. The key element to self-confidence is, therefore, an acceptance of the myriad consequences of a particular situation, whether they are good or bad.

When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more 'self-confident' because one is worrying far less about failure or (more accurately) the disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable. If there is any 'self-belief' component it is simply a belief in one's ability to tolerate whatever outcome may arise; a certainty that one will cope irrespective of what happens. Belief in one's abilities to perform an activity comes through successful experience and may add to, or consolidate, a general sense of self-confidence.

So then I say does this person lack self-confidence? What makes you confident or not? I don't feel that I am confident in all things, I am kind of afraid of failure but you know how will I know I got there if I didn't fail a few times before getting there? I always tell myself that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. Just tell yourself that you are awesome. "I am awesome and nobody else matters..." At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

What do you think? I don't want to say it's too late for this solider however if they know what they must do then why aren't they putting things in place to achieve that goal? Why are they sitting around and doing nothing? 


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  2. I am not sure the problem with this soldier has anything to do with confidence, but rather a sense of determination for himself/herself. I personally believe success should be measured by your own standards and yours alone, because when you try to stand up to someone else's then you will fail every time; and where is the worth in all of that to begin with? So, although some may perceive him/her not doing much in his or her life, it may not be the same view if this person feels satisified and complete. Nevertheless, I believe confidence or self diffidence can come into play if the person simply says, I have failed at my attempts to do A-B and C in life, therefore, I am not going to try anymore because I'm worthless. This is when I feel that confidence and its level is at the core of the problem. Perhaps, the person just does not have the energy or the interest to want to do more, therefore, they come off as sluggish or wasteful to others. You know what I mean? You can be confident and indolent all day long, these two entities can easily be separated from each other. You know? That is just my thought on the matter.

  3. Those are good points you made.

    Maybe it could be low self-esteem.

    I am not sure if this soldier has future goals. Other than living in the moment and not looking toward the future. That I am not sure.


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